shhh..it's secret.

i stood in the shower, underneath the spray of water, i used to shut my eyes long enough to think about one nice thing i'm feeling about my day. i saw him today and every single dream i had with him inside started running wild in my mind. i thought everything changed after so long but turns out they're still there. i knew it because the long lost feeling returned to me when i'm home.

i sat on my bed after the shower, water still dripping out of my long hair and uncombed. at first i didn't know it was the same feeling until i went replaying my memories in my head. my hair stood on its end the minute i reckoned they're what i used to go through at the end of the day each time we met.

the same. mixed. feeling. i felt happy that we talked, we looked into each other, we walked together. but at the same time, felt sad that we didn't have time to have heart to heart talk, to feel the true feelings about each other through the eyes and to walk with our hands held tight. it was two years ago i pondered about how all these feels like but stopped that thought when i know he had a girlfriend. it's silly, i didn't know he's still my crush. i 'm not sure know how real it is though.

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simple happiness.

as simple as a breakfast.

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bring me away

bring me to a bus station
i go on a vacation

bring me to the airport
i take a cup of hot latte and go on board

bring me to a hotel
i lay on the bed and relax

bring me to the beach
i paint the sunset

bring me to the sea
i swim in my swim tube

bring me to others' country
i overdress myself and walk on the street

photo my sis brought back from taiwan, i edited.

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believe.

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this feeling never goes off.

if we started dating

today would be our 2nd anniversary

truth was she couldn't let you go

maybe that's what stops us in the end

last time you shouted at me

my heart has broken

i made the mistake of being rude

then i know i fall out the list of girls you'll concern

till now when i see your face

i still felt like i'm short listed

like trying to avoid putting my disgusting face infront of you

or like avoid talking to you in case i make the same mistake again

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all about sweet people.

sweet enough there're people do think i'm pretty
it's last year's most heart-melting birthday gift
from princess jess
i took too long to expose it though

this morning i realized that
people is too sweet to recognize me out of the crowds
he's not anyone but a really admirable person
honestly my heart skipped a beat

on the same day, i finished and quit the job that pleases around

some people understood my position way too fast

some people belittle my reasoning

that's ok, everything that bothered me finally went away

thank you, sweet people who helped me.

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last night

no matter how tired
i place my shoes back at the rack
a thing that i'll never forget to do
because i can't afford to see them lost in the next morning

coming home at 3 in the midnight
i bunned my hair up, took a short shower and went to bed
my friends hate that but i couldn't be bothered to wash my hair
i felt gravity pull and then i fall asleep

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youhearme.

i cried

i seem to do it about every other day lately

yesterday i cried so hard that i choked on air

it needs so much strength to deal with difficult thing like that

and that's when life's tough and..

hopeless.

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i had a crazy idea in my head.

to worry how others think of me; to worry how a matter brings good and bad;

sometimes, things to be worried doesn't by any means as much as they needed.
i've great fear of making mistake and it leads me to avoid anything that has no guarantee.

with missing, lonesome and pain, days dragged by.
it's ain't gonna be the same.
though, got the idea, but forgo might gives regret.
i shall certainly be prepared.

stubborn or playful?

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dental visit.

today, i went to the dentist for my braces appointment made two months ago. I was driving there and thought of how my dad warned us about the outstanding of summons. He always advises to park further rather than getting summon. so i wanted to be the obey one this time, i parked far at the residential area.

i was passing by this back street with my handbag. the message about snatcher quickly hit my mind and i watched out. i was right! as soon as i crossed the road and a motorist tried to snatch my bag! fuck. it was all i shouted in my heart. i was lucky that he didn't get anything. but i was traumatized. and i really meant it. my leg shivered all the way even i'm already in my car. i hardly feel my legs.

aside from that experience, there's another thing about visiting dentist today. i'm a bit pissed off that they kept me waiting for more than ever. it happens every time. I felt like i'm wasting so much time for such high pay service. sigh..

well this time, i got a spring on my teeth and i thought it will be fun to play with. but hell no, it makes me screamed when i was trying to press the spring and hit on the metal was terribly painful..

Don't scroll down...

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