Thursday, June 30, 2011

crazy bitch.

tmr is the beginning of next half of 2011
it's been a tough one
the expressed sorrow touches my heart
deep down in it, i teared
surprised though
maybe there's rarely a chance you show it

i'm not exactly bad at comforting
it depends on conditions
tonight i'm touched to thinking to at least write something to you
but i brushed it off because i saw others took care of you
i do not want to do anything
that i think others are less likely to appreciate

where do you put me at in your life
we both know we can't tell we are close
sometimes i felt ridiculous
because girls can  make me heartbroken
i thought it's reserved for the boys
girls hurt more than boys, truthfully

a few years ago
i started feeling unworthy to be a giving person
that might be one of the reason
why i do not text out birthday wishes
especially to the people who i know would receive a lot of them
mine will end up valueless

ungenerous.
jealous.
i do not born to be like this
i'm trained
by people who hurt me, ignore me in the past
trained to be like a crazy bitch.


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