vertigo.

yesterday was a special clubbing night of all my previous experiences. sometimes i didn't like about going to a club, especially the smokers and strangers. i don't really dance nor drink. when i got inside the club,  the rest started tossing their glasses and i took the opportunity to sink myself in the loud environment. take a break from my life as usual.

until one of my girl friend got tipsy and started grinding on the guys at the dance floor. it was a club, dancing was something we loved to do. me and another friend's eyes met and we both were astounded to see such a different person in her. i thought i don't want to be over protective about my girl friends, so i watched them.

after a while the drinks had put effects to all my friends, one after another. i was about to go crazy taking care of these unsound human and i sort of gave up at one point. i had some fun time watching them do what they're doing right there with other sound human. they're having absolute fun in their world i didn't want to disturb and they looked cute that way.

later did i find out that one of them was deadly drunk outside the club and that had to put the party to an end. everything after this was what seems to make me stone till the rest of the day. the way they transformed into someone else, falling all over the place, making noises and puking everywhere. i swear they were so loved before this alcohol thing takes over them.

one of them forced to sleep over at my place, i sat next to her and talk to her like an idiot to test if she's still responsive. as expected she had no recollection of what she had done the next morning she woke up. all these happened before my eyes, i can tell how dangerous she would have been if i were a different gender.

the picture of me staring at her senseless body is kind of disturbing so i had a long night. also from waking up to check if she's fine, to hiding from my parents that i've a drunken friend, to worrying about not answering the caller of her phone and to endless recalling the drunken face.

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my nails story.

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it's been awhile.

everytime i close my eyes to go to sleep, i pick up my favorite memory to think about.

sometimes it is when i was walking in the crowd at night market and he came up behind and wrapped his arms around me. i put mine above his to help keep him warm. he nuzzled his nose in my hair and then pulled me closer and even pressed his head against mine. how much he used to make me matters.

sometimes it is when i was standing by the railing at the hill top, feeling the space around me and he tickled me out of a sudden. he grabbed my waist as soon as i turned round trying to tickle back. he drew me close and i snuggled in more.

sometimes it is when we were racing back to our place passing through one of the dark street in another city. i remembered there were three stylish youngsters stood by their gate watching us and of course i couldn't beat him. we fall onto each other at the end of the race and my legs no longer freezing.

sometimes it is when i was sitting close to him in the car and he held me. i'm not sure if he realized that. he never held my hand before because we never started. i'm particular but i allowed it for once as his hands were cold but mine were colder damn.

sometimes it is when i was looking out for trains and directions to find him and saw the face awaiting for me as i opened the door. he asked if i came back alone and i've always thought that, he was worried. i smiled i missed him so much we were separated for one day.

sometimes it is when we were cycling around the silent neighborhood. the wind blows and under a bit of rain, he told me i'd be good as long as he don't fall, he added. every often he called me to watch out of bumpy road because i was busy taking photos. i thought it's so sweet of him.

but most of the time it is when he was looking genuinely happy right in front of my eyes as it would be the most natural thing on earth.

these lasting memories have been stuck in my mind for a month now. i had fun then and i told everyone about it. one of them said because i went with the right one. but a right one won't ruin my mood before going on vacation. and not made me feel bad on the first night itself. not what more staying one day away me out of four to go god knows where. a real good one would tell me he misses the stay as much as i do even if the weather is too cold and the food sucks there.

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